Essay

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I wrote this little ditty for a conference I’m going to and asked my husband to read it before submission. Now, you have to know my husband… He HATES to read. It isn’t that he doesn’t read – he reads off the web constantly – pages and pages. He just doesn’t read books… or pages of prose.
I digress. He read my piece for me and… he really liked it. My husband, who loves me and calls me “honey”, is my most ardent critic. He wants the best for me and will tell it like it is. He liked this piece!

The Event that Changed My Life

The most significant event in my life was the day my husband – my ex – served divorce papers to the front door of our home. As much of a shock and a blow to my ego that was, that single event hurled me head long into a multitude of new, and at the time, poorly understood set of occurrences. Without a doubt, that piece of paper has been responsible for bringing me to this most incredible, thrilling point of my present existence.

This momentous event provided me the impetus to face all the demons in my life – the never ending stream of fears plaguing most every area of day to day living at the time. It placed me in the midst of the most frightening situations – courts, lawyers, judges…in-laws – all of which required vigilant attention and forceful wherewithal, molding a timid, reserved mother into a force with which to be reckoned.

As a result of this event, I was introduced to the man with whom I share my life – my husband. His presence in my life has, unquestionably, enabled me to bloom into the person I am today. His encouragement and nurturing, instruction and guidance has moved me beyond the realm of a mediocre existence to a fully engaged, live it to the fullest, exuberant life. It has been through him I have been afforded an opportunity to spread my wings and attempt fresh challenging undertakings.

He introduced me to the world of horses, encouraging me to learn to ride. I had been oblivious to the implications of a horse in my life. A horse is capable of teaching you more about yourself without a spoken word than talking to a counselor for a month full of Sundays. So it was with me. When I discovered the true me lying beneath the veneers I had so effectively draped over myself through the years, I was transformed into a new self assured, confident me. If riding doesn’t do anything else for you, it will teach you confidence. One cannot steer a thousand pound animal timidly or it will run amuck. Confidence tells you no matter what that horse is thinking, you will have him doing exactly what you want him to do.

That confidence paved the way for me to pick up the guitar, once again after fifteen years, and learn to play with more skill than previously. I vehemently went about discovering new pieces to learn and deciphering the music for myself, refusing to shrink from the challenge and reveling in the accomplishment.

Confidence spurred me to learn how to cook entire dinners in a dutch oven over an open fire. This ability provided my family many sumptuous meals during our home building project a few years ago – the added challenge of living in tent during home construction.

Confidence enables me to press onward, pen in hand and record the myriad of thoughts and fantasies flooding my over active imagination, pursuing the dreams of a writer. An imagination that once lay as dormant as the door at which that piece of paper was first served.

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